I can do it

I do not share personal stuff in public but yeah , I feel like sharing today. It's been a bad week for me not the worst but not good. I was with family due to a personal project and I kinda stoped taking commission for a few days. I was trying to get closer to my family. I am not a person that actually show it when is happy and that confuse my family a lot, it actually makes them sad or they belive I don't like something or dont care about the things they offer me or their help. I do not know how to react sometimes. I am trying to explain them that this is how I react in general. For example they bring me a nice pair of shoes and I say "thank you very much, I like it" and then I continue with my work (or interests) I am not the kind of person that will jump off the chair grab the shoes wear them, show excitement,  then hug you and kiss you and etc. If I like it you know that someday you will see my using it. That's what happends with projects too. I am working on a presonal project as I said and my parents wanted to help with it but in a while the project became less  joyful for me as I had a daily check from my family if I continued working it. So I stopped working on it and got back to work. When I feel pressured or sad in a situation I quit. I simply quit when I can.  I will try harder next time but I need to rechage for this, it's kinda hard to explain. I love my parents but wer are really different people.

Also this two weeks with have carnaval days, kinda similar to halloween since we dress and as a cosplayer, I enjoy these days a lot they are very important for me but this year both parties were canceled for me (things happen you know). ;-; 

I am not in a very good mood for months now and actually more than a year for personal stuff in my relationships with people. I am trying very hard to organise what to do with my life and I am currently stuck in  Flight Rising (game) but it's a good thing since I got a great start for my job as an illustrator , I both enjoy it and  getting paid from it. I want to really thank the people who commissioned me all this time I feel very happy when I see people enjoy my art but I have to raise some money too, this is my future and I like it. I would love to stream my work but my pc says "no , I am too old" so yeah I have to pass hours alone focusing on art and studies. At least I have the precious Konveekou and Nanabbi my real life and artistic buddies I love em so much ~<3 they keep me company sometimes and I want to thank them.